Chapter 22: like light and shadow
Wet strains of blonde hair were pressed against the side of my face. I could feel the heat, her head was radiating, through the hair, even though there was no direct skin contact.
Her arms were tightly wrapped around me. We had locked our hands and she pressed herself against me. The bathrobe wasn’t really thick and her breasts were pretty noticeable against my back.
However, I didn’t really think about it. I was still a little shocked because of her panic attack and worried sick that it would happen again. Even wondered I hated to admit it, it would be pretty hard for me to protect her from this. This was caused by thoughts alone and I couldn’t be the only thing on her mind always. I just could be there for her if it happened.
She still sat on her own knees but most of her weight lasted on me. She was tired, of course. She didn’t mean to lean on me so heavily but I could tell that she was almost falling asleep. I knew she wouldn’t tell me that she needed sleep so I took the lead with this one: “You should maybe get some rest.” Without waiting for an answer I leaned forwards and stood up. I didn’t let her go and pulled her upwards. Luckily she didn’t withstand getting carried and willingly wrapped her legs around me.
What neither of us has wondered about, was that she wasn’t wearing anything except for the bathrobe. Her upper half was still covered but everything below the belt of the robe was basically free. I still had my shirt on, which was the last layer of fabric between my back and her womanhood. I couldn’t feel the exact shape, luckily. Even though I was worried as hell, this was fucking hot. In a metaphoric and in a literal sense. Not only did her pussy was pressed against my back. Her bare legs wrapped tightly around me.
I had my hand under her thighs to hold her in place watched out not to move to close to her butt. I may had some not so great thoughts in this moment and was horny as hell but these feeling didn’t got control of me. Her well-being was way more essential to me in this moment.
Her head was resting innocently on my shoulder. Her eyes were closed and I wouldn’t be surprised if she was already sleeping. I almost felt bad because of my thoughts but I remembered our talk from last night. She was inexperienced but not a child anymore.
Casey was much more than my best friend or the girl I loved. I’ve known her since all the time basically and we’ve had, without a doubt, a big impact on each other lives. I wouldn’t be the Matthew I was today without this girl. We’ve experienced almost everything together and, when I imagined myself doing something, Casey was all the time somewhere in my imagination. The term soulmate came to my mind but it somehow didn’t fit.
Soulmates were two people who fitted perfectly. Two separate yet perfectly matching souls. Casey and I were different. While soulmates existed on their own at some point and could theoretically do it again, I’ve never been without Casey. We developed as one. Parts of me would probably not even work without Casey. For example, the voice in my head, when I wondered about something or when I read something, wasn’t my own. It was Casey’s. Even if we weren’t together I still had some parts of her. If this whole soul-theory was really true, Casey and I weren’t soulmates. If soulmates were like a lock and the fitting key, Casey and I were like light and shadow. As long as one was there, there would all the time be at least a little bit of the other one too.
This was why I couldn’t only think about what I wanted. Somewhere in my head was all the time Casey’s point of view and I did something that I liked but Casey wouldn’t ike me doing, this part of me felt genuinely bad.
The only downside to this was that my inner Casey was sometimes a little ‘outdated’. When Casey got more mature it often didn’t even show for a long time and in this time my inner-Casey still behaved like the old one. It all the time changed when I noticed new character traits of her. Last night I wasn’t sure whether it was just an accident but that she didn’t care about pressing her naked pelvic against my back showed me how much she really trusted me and that she wasn’t uncomfortable with me touching her. Of course she would still force herself to many thing if needed but this wouldn’t be necessary. She was inexperienced and insecure about it, but felt safe with me and would probably even enjoy experiencing these things with me.
I smirked a little as I carried her to my room. I laid her down onto my bed. I wondered about giving her some clothes to wear but she seemed to be asleep already. I noticed that the bathrobe was showing a generous amount of her body, barely covering her right breast and her womanhood. I looked at her for a moment. She was stunning. Not even in a sexual way but it almost seemed like her body was shining. After a while I pulled the lower parts closer together to avoid them showing a little to much after just a slight movement.
It worked but at the cost of the upper right part moving and slipping of her boob. It was an accident but I still felt a little guilty. Without even really realizing I looked at her now free breast for some seconds. It was perfect. It was maybe not the biggest one, but got a perfect round shape. Seriously, it was a perfect hemisphere. I’ve touched the from time to time but never really saw them. I knew a little bit what to expect but this left me speechless. Sadly I still felt guilty and decided to cover her up again.
As I was reaching for her robe she opened her eyes. A short look into my eyes and a smile that made my heart perform a little jump weren’t the only things I received from her. She took my hand and pressed it down onto her still free breast.
It felt different from when I cupped it though her shirt. It was smooth, only occupied by the shape of her nipple. It was way more intimate and I was a little overwhelmed in the first seconds. “Please stay.” She looked me in the eyes again and pressed my hand harder against her.
She didn’t need to ask twice. I laid down on my side and she turned he back to me. She snuggled into my and mumbled something that sounded like “I love you”. I answered: “I love you too.” And pulled her closer to me. My hand was still on her breast but I didn’t worried about her being uncomfortable. She had adapted to this level of intimacy and could really enjoy this. I was still to scared to squeeze her boob so I cupped it as the night before and gave her a good-night-kiss on the cheek.
It was more for me than for her as she was already asleep.