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My parents divorced when I was a kid . My dad was gone and my mum went to work . She worked the second shift at the hospital . I was fine being alone , well I had a German Shepherd , do we were safe .

I didn’t know anything about sex bc nobody told me about the ” birds an da bee’s” . When I started puberty I didn’t figure out why my wiener was stiff always .

I would wake up with a Bonner , I didn’t have anyone to ask about it . And sure wasn’t gonna say anything to my mum . As I had the whole house to myself , I would walk around naked with a stiffie .

I learned that it was kinda funny but it was fun to squeeze it and tickle it . I wondered I was probably the only kid in the world that did this . Then it happened in the shower .

I had put alot of my mum’s hair shampoo on the hard hot dog .It was so slippery and smooth, it felt wonderful rubbing it . All of a sudden I felt dizzy and spinning and as I squeezed my wiener something came out of it that wasn’t pee .

I felt great and worried at the same time , because it wasn’t hard anymore . About an hour later it reawakened and was hard again . I wanted to try to make it do that “, thing” again but not with shampoo.

I had a great idea . I reached into the refrigerator and got the butter . So l’m standing naked in the kitchen with a chubby sticking out. I scooped out some cool butter and smeared it on my hard friend. It felt good , it was cold and slippery .

I squeezed and slid my hand up and down for a minute and it happened again . I almost fell over it felt so good when the juice came out of it.. wow . I decided I had made a discovery that nobody on earth knows about .

I decided that I should get the procedure patented . I would become rich and popular . I didn’t know how to do that so I decided to call the only person I could trust .

I found my uncle Joe’s phone number in my mum’s number book and rang him up . After I explained to him everything I had discovered and my plan to get a patent the phone was silent . He slowly explained things..

That’s when I learned about the “birds and the bees” . I was sad to know that every one knew how to do it .
He did compliment me on the butter part though .

NSFW: yes

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