Okay, kids, gather around the campfire here. That’s right…pull in tight. It’s okay if you’re touching your neighbor. Remember: if the firelight isn’t on you, the Whoozasnatchit will take you right away and we’ll be none the wiser. There you go…make sure there’s room for little Ethan over there…good, good.

Once upon a time, there was a woodcutter who lived in the forest with his family. They were mostly a happy lot, but they’d fallen on hard times, due to a great drought which dried up the local river. Many of the animals they hunted began to move away. The berries were soon gone, as were the birds and squirrels. 

One day, the woodcutter fell ill and his wife said she’d seek the doctor. He insisted that he accompany her, but she wouldn’t hear of it. The doctor only lived a day’s journey away, and she knew she could make it, alone. He finally relented and off she went.

The days began to pass. One. Two. Five. Two weeks. Three. Meanwhile, the children and the woodcutter had begun to eat tree bark and every bug they could find. Finally, he sent two of the children, Mark and Rebecca, in search of their mother. After it had been some time and they hadn’t returned, he sent the next two, Peter and Jonathan. Then it was Meredith and Eustace. Jenny and Susan. Big Tim. 

Not one returned. 

Eventually, the desperate woodcutter was down to his final two, favorite children, Candice and Zane. They hugged him tight and set off upon the dark forest path.

Several hours out, they heard a noise in the bushes. Much to their terror and amazement—for animals had long been gone from this area of the woods—out stepped a large wolf. 

“Oh, hello. You children look hungry. Would you like to follow me home for a meal?” the wolf asked. 

Candice and Zane knew it was a bad idea, but they were so hungry that they agreed and followed the leering wolf down a side track toward another cabin in the woods. As they approached, they could smell the aroma of cooking meat and began salivating uncontrollably. Indeed, they soon saw a spit with a fine roast turning over a fire, carefully being attended to by…

…none other but THEIR MOTHER who was looking quite plump.

“Mother! Oh, Mother!” the children cheered. “We found you!” But their cheers quickly turned to dismay and anger, as they realized their mother had been so close and had left her husband to die of sickness.

“I’m sorry, children,” mother said, sounding not at all sorry, “but your father couldn’t take care of me the way I needed to be. Not like this here wolf can.”

As she was speaking, the children saw the exterior of the cabin was decorated with various tokens of their siblings: Mark’s shoes, Meredith’s necklace, Eustace’s knapsack, among other items.

What happened? Well, of course the wolf and mother ate the final two children. But…uhhh…kids…Where’d Ethan go?