I see you walking up the stage to collect your degree , you look so dashing and handsome just like your father. Your steps are confident , your posture is full of purpose and your outstretched hand ready to grab hold of your future and build your life. You collect your hard earned prize and wave to the crowd and flash that amazing smile which always lights up the world , you hug your father and thank him for always being there for you . But you have no words for me and as usual you move past me like I don’t exist.

It wasn’t always like that though we once were happy , we were a family and I felt like life couldn’t get any better. You had won your first junior high race and dedicated your trophy to us , the joy that filled my heart made it feel like it was about to burst. But like all things where there is a bright light there are also shadows and this particular shadow happened to be your coach , a man with a vile contempt for your father only I didn’t see it at first . To me it all started off so innocently and I naively thought of him as a friend when he started chatting to me , slowly but surely he worked his way into my head and after six months of seemingly close friendship he stole his first kiss from my lips.

How I wish I had told your father about that first time but I was too scared and excited until we crossed a line I never thought I would cross and he had me in our home. It wasn’t until your father suspected something that I started to fear losing my family but it was too hard to end on my own and the nail in the coffin was you seeing me kiss that man , once he knew you saw he just laughed and that when I realized what he was . You told your father and as a result I destroyed the beautiful life we had together. But your coach still wouldn’t leave me alone , still was obsessed to the point of catching me in a parking lot and having his hands on my neck.

The last thing I saw was his smile and his saying “ I wonder how this will hurt your husband “. My final thoughts were of you and your dad and somehow I stayed with you both even though you can’t see me or hear me when I tell you I am sorry. I can’t hug and wish u well because I just pass through you , I can’t even tell you I don’t mind that you never came to my funeral because I deserved it. But I hope you know that I am proud of you and always will be.