I saw a man stabbing someone on the street in some alleyway and I went home disgusted. Then after an hour something uncomfortable happened to me, I started to have a bit of an understanding as to why he was stabbing the other man. It wasn’t a lot of understanding but only a bit of understanding and I felt disgusted with myself for having some sort of understanding with the stabber. I didn’t know what to think of this as I kind of related with the stabber and I wish I hadn’t, now I will have to keep quite and keep to myself.

This understanding, I didn’t know where it was coming from or why it’s here, but I don’t want it here. I want this understanding to go away and especially having some sort of understanding towards a killer is not something I want. I tried driving it out by distracting myself with nonsense things but I still understood with the killer instead of the person being stabbed. I wish I had understanding with the victim but there was nothing I had in common with the victim, and I was alone in this. Then I thought that I could live with the level of understanding that I had with the killer at the time but when the understanding grew, I became even more distressed.

It had been two weeks since I spotted that stabber killing someone in the alleyway, I went back to that alleyway and that killer was still stabbing the same person. My understanding for that killer had grown even more and I had near perfection understood as to why the killer was stabbing that person. I didn’t want to understand though and I shouted at the killer “why am I starting to understand you! I don’t want to understand you!” And he ignored me. As I had nearly full understanding of why the killer was killing someone, I started to become disorientated and I had no understanding towards the person being murdered.

Then I woke up one morning and I had full understanding of why the killer had stabbed someone.