I’ve been in love with my flatmate, Nora, for 5 years now.

We were both in criminal psychology for the last 3 years of uni and we’ve been living together in this crappy apartment near our grad school for 2 years now.

Nora has friend zoned me so hard.

She brings these guys home, and they’re usually gone before morning, I don’t know if she likes it that way, she usually stays in her room all day afterwards, probably depressed.

I’d never treat her that way.

I wish Nora could see that I was a good guy, that I’m different from all these men.

She constantly says how she hates men, wishes the world could be rid of them…

I could make her think differently.

Nora is amazing, the only thing I don’t like is how Nora binges and starves herself. I think she has some sort of eating disorder? She goes days without eating, she usually eats a nice roast meat dinner a day or two after having a gentleman friend stay the night. She spends all day in the kitchen seasoning and preparing the meat, when I ask her what it is she always says mutton.

And it’s extremely delicious. Nora can cook like a goddess. And she’s brilliant.

I could make her so happy.

Tonight she has a man over, I can tell they’re doing it because she turned her music up very loudly. (Probably to make me more comfortable, because she is an amazing woman).

I desperately wanted to hear why she was like… I bet I could make her make those sounds too…

I know I shouldn’t… but sometimes I like to listen when Nora has her guests…

I put my ear to her door…ah yes there it is…

I can vaguely hear Nora moaning and various squishing sounds, I’m glad I got here before the awful grinding noise.

I have no idea what it is (I’ve never had sex myself) maybe a drawer with her condoms and sex toys? Maybe it is the noise of a sex toy itself? I’m not sure…

But it’s such a similar sound to bone grinding on metal (something I’ve seen from an awful movie as a child) and hearing it makes me shiver still… it really ruins the experience for me.

As usually I never saw Nora’s guest by morning and she was in her room.

I knocked on her door several times, usually the shower is running most of the day (I don’t mind because she pays the entire water bill) when she’s in her room like this.

And just like clock work later that night we had the best roast. I asked Nora about her date and she told me “men are the worst. I wish we could get rid of them”.