My attention span has decreased and I can’t seem to stand the duration of a person being tortured and killed. It’s only halfway through that my attention span seems to struggle and I try my best to endure, but the pain of stretching my attention span is excruciating. I use to have a long attention span and I could watch someone’s eye balls being melted by fire and now I can hardly pay attention long enough to watch someone being cut in half. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and my mind seems like it’s closing, and I want my attention span to be like it was.

Then another time I saw a person calling my name and I turned towards that person and I saw them jump off a cliff and as the person was taking, they kept on calling my name to watch them fall. I tried to keep observing them falling off a cliff and into the water but it was so hard. When I couldn’t pay attention to them falling, the falling person would call out my name again and demand that I watch them fall. My attention span started to hurt as I couldn’t keep paying attention long enough. Then the falling person was no where and I assumed they were in the bellys of sharks now.

Then another time I had to pay attention to multiple people being eroded by acid and this caused a lot more pain to my mind, because now my attention span was being stretched and cut up into multiple smaller forms. My mind was hurting as I had to pay attention to multiple people suffering and it was at this point that I missed my younger days when I use to watch people screaming in agony for weeks on end. I miss the days when I would watch someone being cut and when it was over, I would find myself to be many years older as my attention span was able to keep up with the person being tortured.

I am struggling to have conversations with people about other people being hurt as I know the full story of what had happened, because my attention span never lasts the full duration. Then when people started noticing that I was unaware of certain events because of my attention span, they started to think that I was one of the group’s that get tortured. The people that get killed and tortured don’t know about others being tortured or about themselves. I really hope my attention span comes back to normal.