Mine [700,000 Subs Contest] : Scary Stories – Short Horror Story

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It’s been years since I felt something.

Hundreds of hours reviewing my childhood with therapists;

Complex combinations of pills with tongue-twisting names;

Nothing helps.

This isn’t living.

I spend my time online.

No one knows me

In these liminal spaces;

Lurking on creepypasta forums

Like the white space between lines of poetry.

I like to see the urban legends

Evolving in real-time.

There’s a post

about a song

that gives you new memories

of things that never happened

and a link.

It’s preposterous;

I’ve seen this kind of shit before;

Hypnotic YouTube videos that change your eye color

Email chains that help you win the lottery

A cursed story that brings a homicidal clown to your window at night.

But I click it anyway.

And

it’s

EVERYTHING.

I remember my wedding day;

The rose petals scattered down the aisle,

releasing sweet fragrance under my heels;

My future husband staring at me

with tears in his eyes;

The warmth of his hands

as we vowed our lives to each other.

When the song ends,

Tears trace my cheeks;

My heart aches,

And it’s the sweetest thing

I’ve known in years.

I need more.

To my surprise,

Every listen is different;

The birth of my first child;

Receiving my doctorate in biochemistry;

Holding hands with my wife, our skin paper-thin and spotted with age.

I play the song on repeat;

It’s never enough.

At first, it’s subtle;

Dishes I thought I’d tried before;

Clothes I thought I’d worn.

Then I’d mention a trip

or a job

And my friends would look at me.

“You never did that.”

They think I’m a liar;

But I just can’t keep the memories straight.

What’s my childhood address?

Who was my best friend in high school?

What was the name of my dog?

Did I even have one?

I look in the mirror

And don’t recognize my face

And when I look away

I can’t describe it

Did I take a cruise with my fiancé?

Did I climb Denali?

Have I studied in Japan?

Have I done anything?

I don’t know

If people are calling me

Because I can’t recall my name

I step outside

and don’t recognize the skyline

So many faces pass

and I wonder which one is mine

I pass houses

and wonder if I lived there

where is here?

who is me?

there’s so much in my head

and i can’t tell

which is real

and which is

the song

wait.

what if

none

of it

is real . . . ?

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