Laugh Tracks : Scary Stories – Short Horror Story

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You walk on stage and introduce yourself to your audience.

“Welcome to the Never Too Late Show. Thank you for joining us this evening. I am your host Kirk Steelington and boy do we have a great show for you tonight.”

You chit-chat with your audience and tell them about tonight’s guests and musical talent.

You walk back to the host’s desk and start your monologue.

“As if they weren’t happy with dominating the global ice cream market, Lactose King is getting into the baby formula market with their new brand, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Titty Milk. What’s next, world domination? Am I rite?”

And you tell your jokes:

“Have you heard about the man from nowhere? The only thing he had was a little courage. Am I rite?”

Two signs light up and your audience starts applauding and breaks out into raucous laughter. But a few do not clap or laugh, either out of defiance or hopelessness and the metal collars and bracelets they are forced to wear start heating up and constricting until their heads and hands are separated from their body.

You finish your monologue and bring out your first guest. You talk about their latest movie and allow them to plug in their latest book.

You cut to a commercial, and when you come back, you bring out your musical guest, Daddy Water Bug. They perform their newest hit song, No Other Choice, while you sip on a Chai/Chamomile tea.

Cut my wife into pieces

That was my last resort

Exsanguination

No bleeding

Cut that bitch’s heart out but it kept on beating

She follows me at night

Keeps telling me that I’m going to be her sacrifice

No escape in sight

I do the only reasonable thing

And took my own life

Your audience cheers and applauds and you cut to another commercial again.

You welcome your next guest, a seemingly overnight celebrity. You ask them how they are handling their newfound celebrity status and they say “good.”

They tell you that they were even offered a job as a talk show host.

You congratulate them and ask what the name of the show is.

They tell you it’s the Never Too Late Show.

You laugh at their obvious poor attempt at a joke.

You stop laughing when security comes out and escorts you off the stage.

You start hyperventilating when they throw you in an audience chair.

You start crying when they fit you with a metal collar and bracelet.

You start screaming when your skin starts to sizzle and crackle.

You stop screaming when your head falls off.

The audience laughs so hard they short out their collars and bracelets and they fall to the ground.

The audience charges the film crew and the new host and pluck out eyeballs and kick in teeth and tear off flesh and pull out intestines.

The audience laughs and rejoices, and the screen goes black because they are experiencing “technical difficulties.”

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